


Alliance Cultural Introduction Letter Programme

by Kayani_Iriel, wabbajacked



Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: Epistolary, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 8,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26661109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayani_Iriel/pseuds/Kayani_Iriel, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wabbajacked/pseuds/wabbajacked
Summary: When the Alliance starts expanding its influence in Kul Tiras, King Anduin establishes a letter exchange that connects two unlikely men. Known only by pen names, and experiencing friction while working closely together, can they set their differences aside and find common ground?
Relationships: Flynn Fairwind/Mathias Shaw
Comments: 135
Kudos: 115





	1. Another Day In Boralus

Description:  
A Hero's Call Board, set up in the port city of Boralus, Tiragarde Sound, Kul Tiras. Two stone pillars support the board, adorned by a large golden lion's head and blue bunting. Several notices hang from the board.


	2. The King's Address

The text of one letter pinned to the board reads as follows:

On Behalf of High King Anduin Wrynn, Leader of the Alliance,

In the interest of fostering mutual trust, to renew the friendship our Great Nations once had, and to reacquaint each other with cultures long forgotten, we are instituting the Alliance Cultural Introduction Letter Programme with Kul Tiras.

This programme will allow interested parties the chance to gain a bevy of cross-cultural understanding as well as cull any rumors or potential misunderstandings by widening cultural knowledge.

Interested parties can volunteer at the local registry office of Guilds, where they will soon be matched with an appropriate recipient of letters, who will be their guide for the duration of this project.

It is with a warm heart and open arms we welcome this exchange of knowledge with Kul Tiras. 

May the Light bless this endeavor,  
King Anduin Wrynn


	3. Hello World

Hello!

I almost said Hello Mate, but since this is a letter, I can’t say it, and I don’t know if you’re a guy, so I guess hello has to do. I’m chuffed to join this penpal exchange, when I saw the option I signed right up. I’ve met a few mainlanders in my time, but you all are such an unusual lot that it’s hard to figure out what’s true and what’s not. I hear you have wine in church, is that true?

Anyway, I’ll keep this short, but I’m here for any questions you have about us Kul Tirans. We’re a friendly lot, and I’m happy to write back.

Handsome Devil


	4. Mate Is Gender Neutral?

**To:** Handsome Devil  
**From:** Citizen of Stormwind  
**Subject:** Alliance Cultural Introduction Letter Programme  
**Re:** _Introduction Letter_

I have noticed the informality with which people in Boralus conduct themselves, so a letter with "Hello Mate" as the introduction would not have surprised me. However, I was under the impression that "mate" was a gender neutral form of address locally. I suppose that is my first question about your culture. 

Kul Tirans have a rather broad definition of what constitutes a "mainlander" (see: the entire population of the world that is not Kul Tiran), so answers and experiences you might have had relayed to you could contradict each other based on the location the subject hails from. I come from Stormwind, and while I am not a church-goer myself, work has taken me to many instances of services at the Stormwind Cathedral, and there has been a definitive lack of wine during them. 

I hope this answers your question to your satisfaction.

Cordially,

_Citizen of Stormwind_


	5. Why Not Penpals?

Hello Mate,

I confess, mate is a pretty broad term for us. But you being a mainlander an all, I wasn’t sure if you’d take it well if you were a woman. I’m assuming you’re not, feel free to correct me.

So, why’d you sign up for the penpal exchange? Excuse me, the Alliance Cultural Introduction Letter Programme. That’s too long for me to bother writing out each time, we’ll need to come up with something shorter, or skip it all together. I thought it’d be fun. Always been curious about other places, and I’ve met a few of you, but not learned much.

No wine at church, eh? Such a disappointment. That would have gotten me to attend at least once. I suppose that’s one thing I can cross off my list of things to see in Stormwind, if I ever set foot there. Can’t imagine I ever will though.

So, Citizen of Stormwind, how are you liking Boralus? Have you gone out for a drink to celebrate? I can recommend a couple of good pubs, if you’d like.

Handsome Devil


	6. Linguistic Intricacies

**To:** Handsome Devil

 **From:** Citizen of Stormwind

 **Subject:** Alliance Cultural Introduction Letter Programme – Use An Acronym If You Must

 **Re:** _The Linguistic Intricacies of “Mate”_

I would be curious to learn more about this term’s broad application. You guessed that I'm a man correctly, so no need for a correction.

As for joining this programme, I was volunteered for the duty by my employer, because they thought it would be a chance to acclimate faster and get my duties kickstarted. So far I’ve found it to be a little difficult to keep up with alongside my other work, so you will have to forgive my replies being somewhat late or short sometimes.

Even if there’s no wine to be enjoyed at the Cathedral, I would still recommend going. It is a marvel of architecture, and one of the city’s most famous landmarks, which makes it an attractive tourist spot even for visitors without much of a religious inclination. Why do you think you will never set foot in Stormwind? 

Boralus has been… unique so far. Not so much time passed since our nations last had contact, but somehow the divide is deeper than I expected. I am looking forward to actually taking a proper look around. I haven’t gone out for a drink to celebrate and I don’t really go out much if it isn’t on business, but thank you for offering.

Cordially,

_Citizen of Stormwind_


	7. Twas a Dark N Stormy... Recipe

Dear Citizen of Stormwind,

An acronym? Forget that, I’ll just call you my penpal. I’ve heard others call it that, it’s just as easy a word to use, innit? So you didn’t want to do this, seems like a lousy thing for an employer to do. Do they not think highly of your ability to learn a city as well as your duties, whatever these mysterious duties may be?

As to word Mate, well, it’s just a word we use. It’s friendly, and non aggressive, and most people won’t come after you with a right hook if you greet them with it. Now, them nobles, they’re a different story. Never use mate around them if you can help it. They’re too far up their own asses to accept a friendly term, it’s Lord this and Lady that. Most of us working stiffs, common folk, we just use it. Figured you’d be one of us, not many nobles are too excited about writing letters to strangers.

I don’t reckon I’ll ever make Stormwind unless I’m on a ship headed there. I don’t see why a private vessel would go, it’s not like the Alliance has much need for what we Kul Tirans make. So that rules out visiting for me.

You haven’t gone out for a drink? Well, I can fix you up. Enclosed is a recipe for a local Boralus drink, the Dark and Stormy. It’s a right popular one, try it and see if you like it. I got the recipe from a bartender friend, so it’s a good one. Pardon the napkin, I ran out of parchment.

Handsome Devil

Recipe for Dark N Stormy Cocktail on a bar table, with glass of beer visible on upper right corner.

Dark N Stormy

2 ounces dark rum

1/2 ounce lime juice

3 ounces Ginger Beer

lime wedge, optional


	8. Napkin Stationery

**To:** Handsome Devil

 **From:** Citizen of Stormwind

 **Subject:** ACILP 

**Re:** _Dark and Stormy (Weather/Drink)_

A _penpal_ makes the project sound much too casual, in my opinion. I wasn't opposed to my employer's idea enough to actually object or try to find a way to wiggle out of participating, so here I am now. I think it is less about making me learn about the city and the people, and more about forcing me to socialize, if such a thing even counts as socialization.

I see you have opinions on nobility that I have overheard in the harbor from others as well. I was under the impression that the citizens of Boralus love at least the Proudmoores and take a certain pride in their rule, or I did until I came here. Is it not so?

Your talk of a private vessel begs for the question of whether you work on a ship. I know these letters are supposed to carry a certain degree of anonymity so I will not press for detail, but if you're willing to speak more about that experience, I would like to hear about it. Stormwind sees its share of sailors, housing a grand harbor, but I assume there are enough differences in their day-to-day and yours to make it a tale worth hearing (and one just befitting the scope of this exchange).

The drink recipe you sent me is the reason this reply took a few days longer than the previous two. It intrigued me, even written on a filthy napkin as it was, and on my way from work that day, I bought the ingredients listed. I didn't want to drink on a work night, so I waited until now, Friday evening, to indulge. Something like this wouldn't be my usual order, but I wasn't put off by the taste. The quarters I have been assigned are unlike my accommodations back home at Stormwind, but being warm inside with the view of a storm brewing in the distance across the harbor with a refreshing drink in hand makes it feel somewhat comfortable.

Cordially,

_Citizen of Stormwind_

P.S. As thanks for the recommendation, I am enclosing some proper stationery so that I don't find a napkin in my mailbox again.


	9. So We're Not Penpals

Dear Citizen of Stormwind,

Glad to hear you didn’t hate the drink! Many tourists try it, and plenty of us here in the city will drink it. I’m fond of stronger drink myself, but a Dark and Stormy now and again isn’t a bad thing. Apologies again for the napkin, and thanks for the paper. I feel quite fancy, writing on this stuff, with matching envelopes and all. Can’t say I’ve ever had anything this nice before.

The nobility is fine, I guess. Lord Admiral Katherine Proudmoore is a fair sort. But nobles, they just think they’re so far above the rest of us, it gets tiring. I came from very little, and I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. Watching others get it handed to them, well, it grates.

You guessed correctly, I’m a sailor, have been for Tides know how long. Most of my life, really. The sea’s a harsh mistress, but I love her dearly. Can’t give it up, and don’t want too. I’m getting too old to try a new trade. You are right though, Kul Tiran sailors are different than your Stormwind ones. There’s a reason our navy is the best in all of Azeroth, and it’s not just the Tidsages that set us apart. The waves are a part of us, part of our blood, I’d reckon. The sea sings to us, all of us, not just those called to a life on the waves. Someday, maybe once we’re more familiar, I’ll tell you some tales.

That was quite the storm, wasn’t she? I was on ship when it happened, watching it through the portholes. While at sea, a storm like that’s a concern, no one wants a swamped ship, or someone going overboard. We’d sail like madmen to outrun it, or go around it, especially if we were lucky enough to have a Tidesage with us. But that night, I spent the evening with whisky and coffee, watching the rain lash the sound. Beautiful displays of lightning too. The way the foam on the sea lit up, it was beautiful. The flashes almost looked like one of those S.E.L.F.I.E. shots you mainlanders are so fond of.

Speaking of S.E.L.F.I.E., now there’s an acronym that makes sense. A.C.I.L.P makes no sense, but to preserve your sense of pride, which I can feel from that last letter, I will not call you my penpal anymore. Fair?

Yours,

Handsome Devil


	10. Citizen of Stormwind, Spoiler of Fun

**To:** Handsome Devil

**From:** Citizen of Stormwind

**Subject:** Just use whatever you want, I will not spoil your fun

**Re: Re:** _Dark and Stormy (Weather/Drink)_

I am glad you are enjoying the new paper. Since I am filing all of these away for reference, it will be easier for me to sort them if they are penned on something as uniform as a set of stationery. I have rewritten your recipe into my personal notebook, should I want to mix it again (even if it was easy enough to remember). Now that you mention S.E.L.F.I.E., I feel obliged to share the photo I took of the drink the night I made it. You’ll find it attached to the back of the letter. I don’t make a habit of documenting my day to day activities, but I thought it made for a good shot, and it’s not identifying enough to prohibit me from sharing it with you. I hope I will not embarrass myself with my mainlander mixology skills. 

I’ll add “waxing poetic about the sea” and “exaggerated sense of national and nautical pride” to my list of observations about the Kul Tiran people, based on this letter of yours and other interactions during work. Do you sleep on your ship even when it’s moored in the harbor? Does the constant rocking back and forth stop being something you notice? I suppose I always wondered that myself, as most of my interaction with ships boils down to short trips from place to place for work, and even that is becoming rarer as our portal systems are being rebuilt and improved with time. 

With greetings from solid land,

_ Citizen of Stormwind _

_ _

Description: A polaroid resting on top of an envelope and an empty paper, with some cut grass stalks strewn around on the table. The photograph is of a Dark n Stormy with a lemon wedge, resting on a wooden table.


	11. Exaggerate This

Dear Citizen of Stormwind,

An exaggerated sense of national and nautical pride? I’ll have you know, mate, that we come by that pride honestly. We’re known for our sailing, and it affects everyone’s lives here. As to your questions, I often spend the nights on my ship. I have a little flat, but it’s a walk from the harbor, and when I saw the clouds come in, I decided I didn’t want caught in the storm. So I just settled down for the night and stayed put. I don’t notice the rocking anymore, quite used to it. I’ve spent the bulk of my life at sea, started as a cabin boy, so it’s just second nature. Do you have trouble with the ground rocking after you’ve spent a lot of time on a ship? I assume you had to come here on one.

That’s an excellent photo you took, you have quite the eye for composition. I suspect now that you lot are here, S.E.L.F.I.E cameras will become far more popular. I might have to get one myself. There’s a potential contract I might be considered for, and if I do, documenting the process would be one way of passing the time while it’s quiet. I suppose I should say, if it’s quiet. Seems like things have gotten a lot rowdier lately. I could blame the Alliance, but that wouldn’t be fair. We Kul Tirans stir up trouble on our own.

Yours,

Handsome Devil


	12. Carried Away

**To:** Handsome Devil

**From:** Citizen of Stormwind

**Subject:** Acquiring sea legs

**Re:** _Exaggerated sense of national and nautical pride_

I call it exaggerated in the sense that it doesn’t acknowledge how one’s environment shapes their skills and affinities and how easily that could be taken away by a twist of fate. Our farmers in Elwynn forest pride themselves on their beautiful golden apples, and they truly are a delight, sweet and crispy, famous across our kingdom. While a lot of the farmers’ work and knowledge goes into their care, if you transplanted the trees and the farmers into just one region away from where they are right now, their entire crop would fail. The trees wouldn’t get the sun they need, the farmers wouldn’t know what to do with the soil, the watering cycle would be disrupted, and their golden apples would be no more. In that sense, as much as Kul Tirans have developed advanced shipbuilding and sailing methods, they also had the advantage of their environment supporting such a development, with calm seas around the island itself, fortuitous wind flows and materials that ease the construction of a good ship, something no other place in the seven kingdoms had in the same way Kul Tiras did.

So all that begs the question, to what extent can one’s pride in a certain discipline be claimed? The people of Westfall were once famous for their farms and the quality of their crops. Now that their land has been turned into a dust bowl by the Cataclysm, all their skills are for naught. Had the elves of Quel’thalas not reclaimed their Sunwell, would they have remained a nation known for its incredibly advanced magic, or would their skills fall into disrepair over the years? If the winds around your island shifted tomorrow into endless storms and waves whipping your shores and ports, would you still have a claim on being the best sailors around?

I admit this letter got a little long, as I had a free evening and was taken down a strange train of thought. Please disregard if none of what I wrote makes sense to you.

Is being a cabin boy a regular part of a sailor’s career trajectory? What duties did you have when this was your job?

I sailed here on a ship. I have been on longer trips, to the shores of Kalimdor even, but it has been a while. I found it unusual to be at sea again, and yes, I was a little wobbly once we came ashore. I’m hoping to work on my “sea legs” while I am here. It will be a valuable experience. Do you happen to have any tips on how to achieve that?

In case you want to get a S.E.L.F.I.E. camera, I would advise you invest in a model that’s water and salt-proof. I learned the hard way yesterday, when a clumsy oaf of a coworker knocked mine right off my belt and into the harbor. He didn’t even notice, and went along on his merry way. Some of the sailors around were kind enough to help me fish it out, but the delicate machinery of it was ruined. This is probably an occupational hazard for you, and even if you don’t have any walking disasters of a coworker around, the salt and humidity in the air would still probably not be good for a camera.

I wish you good luck with your contract (if it’s something you are hoping to score).

Cordially,

_ Citizen of Stormwind _


	13. Excuse Me for Kul Tiraning

Citizen of Stormwind,

I never expected two full pages from you, Citizen. I must say, you’ve outdone yourself. I don’t know if I can return the favor with as much to read, but I will do my best.

You obviously feel quite strongly on this idea, mate. Would you say the same of a strongman? Or strongwoman? You wouldn’t pick one of those rotting undead to be your strongman, would you? Or a gnome? You’d pick the strongest person you could find, out of a group of strong people. We’re no different. Of all the sailing races on Azeroth, we rose up to become the strongest sailors.

The Tidemother would be why we’d get by if the seas rose up and changed. We owe our skills and livelihood to her. Our love of the sea, our knowledge, all of it comes from her. Whip our ports with storms, give us endless storms, and our Tidesages will work harder to appease the Tidemother and give us safe passage where we need to go. And if not, well, to the Abyss we go.

As to being a cabin boy, it’s a common job for some sailors to start with. Within the Kul Tiran Navy, it’s often goes to a noble’s son that’s due for a career within the military. Not being of noble birth, as you’ve no doubt figured out, that way was barred to me. However, other ships, like merchants, do take on cabin boys, and I was able to sign on to a non fleet ship when I was young, maybe 10?

I spent several years as a cabin boy, also a powder monkey, helping the cook, carrying messages, trimming sails, standing watch, loading the guns in battle. I’d help wherever and whenever I was needed. It was easier work than being a full sailor, but still long hours and a hard job. I’d never trade it.

From there I became a sailor, which meant I was doing more of whatever needed doing. Stand watch? Navigate? Cook? Repair? Name it and I’ve done it. I’m not a great cook, but no one ever starved when I was tasked with it. I prefer to let others cook, especially Pandaren. They make the absolute best cooks.

I did get that contract, thank you for asking. It starts soon, and I’m looking forward to it. It won’t be without trouble, no sailing ever is, but it’s steady work, and steady income. I’ll take your advice about the S.E.L.F.I.E. camera and start looking soon. Sorry to hear about yours. Will you be replacing it?

Yours,

Handsome Devil


	14. Keep Your Powder Dry?

**To:** Handsome Devil  
**From:** Citizen of Stormwind  
**Subject:** The fleeting nature of blessings  
**Re:** _Exaggerated sense of national and nautical pride_

I did say I got carried away. You shouldn't feel obligated to write letters as long or as short as mine are.

Yes, the examples you bring forth play exactly into my point. The strongman or strongwoman will only be on top of their field as long as their body serves them. Once it doesn't anymore, whether it's illness, injury, or simply age, no amount of skill in the world will keep them their position. And your Tidemother? You have no guarantee she will always be with your people. I admit this entire topic got a little bit grim, what with discussing how uncertain everything in life is. I promise I do not get so maudlin often.

Sounds like the life of a sailor lets you round out a pretty good set of life skills. I try to pick up new ones wherever I go myself, and I've been toying with the idea of perhaps looking into some of what you just listed while I'm around, if time allows for it. Perhaps something to do with ropes, which seems like it would come in handy even in non-sailing situations. I'm a rather mediocre cook myself, but during my time in the Alliance I served in Pandaria. I still have a few recipes tucked away in an old notebook somewhere. I can find something interesting and simple for you, if you're interested to try. It's only fair I return the favor after your delicious drink suggestion.

Congratulations on your contract. What's a good luck saying for Kul Tiran sailors? "Go with the Tidemother's blessing"? That seems appropriate, so we'll go with that. I'll be replacing the camera once I get around to it, but it might be a while because the gnomish traders restock sporadically, and with the growing popularity of their wares, sometimes it sells out so quickly that it's not even worth going to the shop on the days they restock because of the length of the queue. 

"Keep your powder dry",  
_Citizen of Stormwind_


	15. What Are Friends For

[An overhead view of Flynn's work table in Boralus, littered with scrolls, a map, cutlass, compass, and candles. In the middle, over the map, is a small, gift wrapped box, and a note.]

[A wooden table with the same small, square, tan gift package, tied in red twine, and a handwritten note on white paper. The note reads:

Hey sailor!

Cyrus and I went halfsies on your new job present. He wanted some boring traditional thing like a new spyglass, but after your rants of suddenly being interested in S.E.L.F.I.E., I thought we could get something more practical. I actually managed to snatch the last waterproof one from that new gnome shop out in the harbor market (read: by grievously abusing my guard privileges to claim there was something inside I need to check and thus skipping the line entirely). There were a few important Alliance people waiting in front with the locals wanting to check out the new wares (like that weird ripped guy with a headband and the Sentinel commander, and the stuffy ginger spymaster. Might get fired for my shenanigans?), and I never thought "glaring daggers" would be so apt a description of someone! You better enjoy the camera, seeing as I risked my life and our delicate international relations for it.

Tae :) ]


	16. Hallow's End is Nigh

Dear Citizen of Stormwind,

Apologies for not responding sooner, I’ve been busy with the new contract. Just finished up the first official part of it, and while I can’t say a lot about it due to this whole anonymous thing, it’s been quite the experience. I wasn’t expecting the level of - excitement - that will apparently accompany some of the parts of it. I’m sure we’ll get used to it. The pay’s good enough that we should get used to it.

Learning to tie knots is a useful skill, regardless of occupation. If you’d like, I can start enclosing a sample knot now and again, so you can have examples to learn from. I don’t know what kind of job you do, so they might not be useful there, but you can always tie up an annoying child with them, I suppose. Or, if you want to be exciting, find someone interesting. Then take them to the bedroom, just make sure whoever you’re tying up consented. I jest, but only just.

Hallow’s End is soon, do you have any plans? There’s a big party happening. For a change, I scored myself an invite. Not sure what I’ll do for a costume, but I’ll think of something. We tend to go all out here, I think it’s the Drust influence. Nothing scarier than a wickerman come to life and trying to eat your liver, eh mate? The kids get into the holiday, and the adults too. Lots of drinking, less candy for the adults, but we manage just fine.

I see now why you’re so fond of these S.E.L.F.I.E. cameras, they are a handy invention. Have to hand it to you mainlanders, these are great. I was given one as a gift from friends, and I swear I’ve taken probably twenty pictures so far. I’ve enclosed one with this letter for you, not to show off, but so you can see where I’ve gone. Don’t worry, I doubt you’ve been where I went.

Yours,

Handsome Devil

Image Caption: A polaroid type photo on a wooden board backdrop. The photo is of a beach, with waves crashing in the foreground, and of a rocky portion jutting out in the mid section, and more rocky, small dropoffs in the background.

*due to illness, Kayani had to create this one, so any problems, blame her*


	17. You Okay, Mate?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the creators is down with pneumonia, please forgive the lack of updates, and slow updating for a bit.

Dear Citizen of Stormwind,

You okay, mate? I didn’t expect silence after my last letter. I don’t imagine my talk of the Hallow’s End celebrations scared you off, you don’t see to be the sort. I can only guess the Alliance has you on some sort of mission or drill and you’re just terribly busy.

As today’s actually Hallow’s End, and I’ve been invited to a party, I’ll keep this short. As I said in my last letter, there’s a lot of Drust influence here. Who needs to pretend they’re a witch, when we have actual covens? Plenty of scary things coming out of Drustvar these days, even with all the heroes you Alliance are sending that way. And bees. Somehow, there’s an unusually high number of bees.

Here in Boralus it’s more fun, with parties and kids looking for tricky treats. We don’t go super elaborate on costumes, but then again, we don’t have to. There are plenty of mages looking to make some extra silver, and who know illusion charms. They set up shop on corners and unused awnings, and offer up these short term illusions. They last about six hours, long enough for a good party, or for a kid to have a good night, then wear off. They make list of what they’ll do, and what price. You give your coin, they cast, and off you go. Since it’s a full body illusion, no need for a costume of any kind.

Which reminds me, I need to close this off and find one myself. Party requires a costume, and I’ve been busy with this new contract, and haven’t had time to get anything set up. I could go as myself, but then everyone would know it’s me, and what fun is that?

Seriously, I know you’re busy, but drop me a note saying you’re not in pieces in an infirmary somewhere. I look forward to your letters, Citizen. I’d hate for something to happen to you.

Yours,

Handstome Devil

P.S. Here’s a wickerman charm. It should fend off the ghouls of the season, in case you’re ever sent to Drustvar.

**Description of Image:**

A Wooden tray on a dark background, with a coffee cup and a notebook and pen near it. on the tray is a letter on white stationery, letters too small to read. On top is a vaguely humanoid shape of twine, wrapped in orange thread, supposedly a charm against the wickerman.


	18. Renzik "The Shiv" Speaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's missive is brought to you by the talented [Mice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mice/pseuds/Mice), who happily stepped up to write Renzik for us. Much love and affection, Mice! <3

To: Shaw  
From: Renzik  
Subject: What the actual fuck

Hey, boss, I know you're down with that Drustvar bug and it's been handing you your ass for nearly a week now. You know I got you covered, but I have to know, has it been messing with your mind? I mean, I hear things about Drustvar from our agents, so it wouldn't really surprise me.

Imagine my surprise when I find an envelope on your desk from somebody calling himself Handsome Devil with a wicker charm inside. At first I thought it was an anonymous informant, but now I don't think so. It was awful chatty for an informant. I'm having it checked out for curses and shit. Do you want me to find this guy? I can have a file to your door in maybe two days. Three if our agent runs into witchy stuff. I can probably find a warlock to put on it if it's looking grim.

I'm kinda worried because I have no idea what would have you signing up for some penpal program that didn't involve mind control or some kind of psychosis. If I have to take you out, I am never gonna forgive you, so this bug you have better not be witches. Or demons. Or weird drugs.

Do I need to send a healer? Or an exorcist?

Shiv


	19. Re: What the actual f**k

**To:** Renzik

 **Re:** What the actual f**k

Renzik,

Mind your own business and don’t touch the white envelopes the harbormaster’s office delivers again unless I’m actually on my deathbed. In that case, feel free to open them and let the poor fellow know so that he doesn’t keep writing to a dead man. I don’t want you looking into his identity either. If I wanted to, I’d have done so already.

Shaw

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


**To:** Handsome Devil

 **From:** Citizen of Stormwind

 **Subject:** Overly dramatic recap of recent events

 **Re:** Both of your letters

Handsome Devil,

I am the one who owes you an apology for radio silence this time. I was out on an assignment in Drustvar myself (it seems like your wicker charm arrived just a few days too late to save me all this trouble), and by some twist of fate ended up falling very ill, along with some other people from the wider expedition making a foray into the land right now. I suspect some coven or other is at fault for this, but I haven’t yet had the chance to look into it, as I’ve been recovering.

I hadn’t really been ill in a long time, especially not with this severity and utter helplessness from the healers we have at hand, so it’s been a rather harrowing experience. I am still on bed rest, but I am finally allowed to handle my correspondence again. Your last letter might have fallen into the hands of my assistant, and I apologize for the breach of privacy this may have caused, since the contents of your letters are usually for my eyes only. Even if they are anonymous, looking back at their sum makes me realize you’ve shared quite a bit about yourself. With all that, let’s just say I am very sorry. 

Reading your two letters provided some levity, since they were the only personal correspondence I received compared to a whole pile of business reports and letters. I pinned the photograph you sent up in my home office (along with the little wicker man), it being a very nice shot for someone who hadn’t handled a camera before. I wish you much fortune and many more shots taken with it in such stunning locations. It almost looks like a beach one would go to for leisure. Or perhaps I am only imagining that in my exhausted post-illness state? It's been a long time since I have last taken a vacation, and never since I went to a place like that.

I know a few knots already, rope featuring in my work heavily at times (but not for reasons of tying up interesting people in my bedroom), but I’d welcome your samples as instructional materials to learn some new forms from. I can send my attempts back for critique, if that would be okay. 

As for the illusions you mention, we do something similar in Stormwind for parties, especially around this time of the year. I usually attend in a professional capacity, not really doing much to celebrate this particular holiday otherwise. That was the case this year too, as I was invited to Proudmoore Keep for the party. I was glad for the illusions provided and made use of one myself, because I am not so sure anyone would have wanted to look at my face after a week of illness and finally being discharged, only to have to attend an event. It was a dull affair as such official parties usually are, and I mostly hung back at the edges of it, indulging in some food and enjoying the music. I think the only person actually having fun at the event was a disguised man practically shoveling finger foods from the tables into his surprisingly deep pockets.

Thank you for your concern expressed in the last letter. I have arranged you to be notified in case something happens again. Please know that I wouldn’t simply stop writing for no reason, as that would go against the spirit of this entire project.

Warm regards from my "deathbed",

_Citizen of Stormwind_


	20. You need Aromatic Fish Oil

Dear Citizen,

Of course my wickerman charm would arrive too late. That’s what you mainlanders would say is ironic, isn’t it? Would have saved you all sorts of trouble if you’d only had it with you. And there’s the rub, mate. You don’t pin it to the bloody wall. If you want protected, you keep it on you. How’s it supposed to deflect magic if it’s in Boralus and you’re out in Drustvar?

I hope you are feeling better, some of those sicknesses coming out of Drustvar can be mighty nasty. I had a shipmate fall cursed once, his you know what turned black, shriveled up, and fell off. Then he got all spotty and died. Gruesome stuff, losing your twig and berries like that. Make sure you’re checked for curses, not for the above reason, but because those illnesses can linger with even the smallest curse. Again, a shipmate had an illness for most of a year, constantly coughing and sneezing, with watery eyes, no matter where we were in the world. Turns out he’d been cursed in Anyport. I haven’t been back since.

Since you’re still ill, I’ll include a recipe my second favorite ship’s cook used to make for us when the fall colds would come around. It’s a rich, hearty beef stew, with some fish oil to help you bounce back. There’s a process to it, but you can probably throw it into a pot and just let it cook while you sleep. Now you owe me a recipe. I’ve sent you a drink and dinner, so send me a dessert, and we’ll have a meal between us.

You were at the Proudmoore Keep party? Well, I’m found out then. That was me at the table, they prepare so much food, and I’m sure it goes to waste. What costume did you go as? Can you believe that King Greymane went as himself in worgen form? That was a lazy costume if I ever saw one. I can’t imagine what you’d have gone as, did someone do up a Stormwind Soldier enchantment for you? Or did you loosen up a little, and go as a pirate? I could judge your costume, you know. I’ve known more than my fair share of them. Did you appreciate mine? I’m quite fond of Francis Bearheart. Have you ever heard of him?

I’m glad you liked the photograph. I’ll try and take a few more, provided we get to a place that’s worth taking a photo of. Last place was terrible, run down town, infested with the dead. Can’t say there was much to take pictures of, and I didn’t much want to explore. Mostly stuck to the ship, and tried not to let my hair get blown about too much.

No worried about your assistant, unless that causes a problem with you. She cute? She single? She interested? Maybe once this is all over, I could meet her. Tides, maybe we could meet, provided you’d be interested. I confess, I can’t quite wrap my head around the man behind the letter. But we’ve got time still, and you need to rest up, so I’ll close.

Yours,

Handsome Devil

Beef Stew

1.5 pounds of beef roast, cubed

2 tablespoons aromatic fish oil

1 onion

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 cup red wine

2 cups water

3 small potatoes

2 carrots

1/4 cup Flour

Thyme

in a cast iron pot, use fish oil to cook onion til tender. Add garlic, cook until fragrant.

Stir in flour, cook until lightly coloured, about a minute.

Add wine, scrape up all the bits off the bottom of the pot, then add in water and thyme, cook until thickened.

Add beef, put pot on fire or in oven and cook for 90 minutes.

Add carrots and potatoes, return to cooking for an hour.

Add salt and pepper.


	21. Fanmade Dark N Stormy!

Apologies for the lack of updates, we've both been under the weather! We hope to be back posting soon. In the meantime, enjoy this Dark N Stormy, made by [The Golden Pug](https://twitter.com/Laura27706711) (Laura_Maz here)on Twitter!

Caption:

a patterned tablecloth with a glass of Dark N Storm, complete with lime wheel, and a decorative squash.


	22. Masks and Costumes

**To:** Handsome Devil

 **From:** Citizen of Stormwind

 **Subject:** I got you now, food thief

 **Re:** Wicker Charm

I am to understand the charm was supposed to be an actual magical token, and not just a little gesture? Color me surprised. I was under the impression that carrying it on me was more likely to make people suspect me of being a witch than protect me, with its sinister look and red string all over. I will see if I can somehow accommodate having it on me the next time I go to Drustvar, which hopefully will not be anytime soon, seeing as the camps that have been established seem to be running just fine, for now. My uniform doesn't really have that many places to store things in, and I already struggle with keeping all my gear on me.

I am feeling much better, being back to active duty now (faster than anyone around me would like, but they will just have to deal with that). Sounds rather gruesome, your story about your mate and his... twig and berries. I have been checked for everything under the sun now by now it seems, and seeing as I've been declared clean, I'd say no curse lingers and mine will be safe. Fingers crossed for that.

I haven't had time to try your recipe yet, nor a ship's cook to pawn it off to, but I certainly will soon. Stew is just one of those things you can't go wrong with (even if the addition of fish oil in this recipe seems worrisome. Why is it in every local food? Even the sweet things?), especially with the cold weather gusting in so quickly. I have a few dessert ideas percolating in my mind, but I wrote down the simplest one that crossed my mind. It's such a plain, hearty comfort food that many cultures around the world have their own version of it. I'm sending two variants, one I had in Pandaria during my time serving there, and one native to Stormwind that I have fond childhood memories of. It's one of the few things I ever learned to cook.

I can't believe the food 'thief' was you. I had to read that part of your letter several times, trying to recall the full figure I saw during the incident, even magically costumed. I didn't mean to offend with my comment -- I only thought it funny to see someone so unabashed at such a stuffy party, doing a thing like that. It's a strange thought that we have been in the same space together without seeing each other's real faces. A little thrilling. Slightly nauseating. You were so close, and I didn't even know. I don't like not knowing, but in this one case, it adds to the mystique. On both sides. I don't know if you would like me if you knew me in person. Although, saying this implies I think that you like me in letters.

My costume was rather unimaginative -- I got one of the ghost enchantments that just look like a transparent floating sheet. It was simple enough to not draw attention or comments from anyone, a bare minimum to respect the party's premise of coming disguised. I was never one for flamboyant costumes, or standing out, so it was perfect. Worth the silver it took to get it done. Your costume looked interesting, and I did figure it it was supposed to be some specific character, mostly since I have seen a few people in the streets dressed in the same one, so it must be a popular figure. Care to tell the tale of this Francis Bearheart? I don't think I have ever heard the name myself so far.

As for King Greymane, I'd rather not comment. He is a busy man, so showing up at the party was already a lot of effort. You can't fault the man for playing to his natural strengths. It does make for a rather striking 'costume' if you don't know that it is just another way for him to exist. Are you telling me that if you could shapeshift into an enormous, terrifying wolf-man, that you wouldn't use it as a costume?

I'm sorry you had to go to such a terrible place. Perhaps the scary ambience could make for a good photograph too? One to sell to the horror enthusiasts, at least. Fitting for the time of the year. I started reading a book featuring an infestation of the dead as the backdrop while I was ill, having found the book under the bed when I moved into this harbor apartment (left behind by a previous tenant, perhaps?), but I had a hard time finishing it. Even in my infinite bed-bound boredom, I just couldn't find the topic palatable after living through all the things the Scourge has wrought on us. Kul Tiras is lucky to have avoided the worst of that. If you're interested, I can pass the book on to you. Maybe you'll find it less of a bad memory and more of a pleasant distraction during your voyages.

My assistant won't be a problem. He's a he, and I don't know about cute. Single? Married to the job, more like. Interested? I doubt it. Is the one sentence from my previous letter mentioning him really so interesting that you would want to take him out?

Perhaps it will sound silly, but I feel like meeting would ruin the point of these exchanges. Like I mentioned, you probably wouldn't like the man behind the letters so much. If you think I am inscrutable in writing, I think I'll be worse in person. In lieu of that, perhaps I can answer some questions, provided they're vague enough? Think about that. Write me, and I'll see if I can sate your curiosity at least somewhat.

You said your hair got blown around. Is it long?

Citizen of Stormwind


	23. Another Fan Drink!

Technically, not a fan drink, this one Kayani made.

Happy Thanksgiving if you're in the United States!

Don't dishwash things that say "Not Dishwasher Safe" 

Caption: a tall glass with a sideways logo for "Joey Ray's Bar, Mar Sara" And a dark amber drink, garnished with a lime slice.


	24. The Tale of Francis Bearheart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love to Mice for helping knock ideas around for the legend of Francis Bearheart

Dear Citizen,

We put fish oil in everything because it keeps you hale and hearty! Puts hair on your chest. Makes you grow big and strong. Look at me! I’d never been the accomplished man I was without fish oil.

To be perfectly honest? I have no idea, mate. We put it in everything because we just do. Why we put it in kultiramisu or ravenberry tarts, I don’t know. Texture? I’m no chef, so I don’t know. I just know the recipe calls for it, and it’s always at hand, so in it goes. After a while, you only notice when it’s not there. I’ve mentioned before my favorite cook on ship was a Pandaren, right? If not, now you know. He never cooked with the stuff. Have to admit, it took me _months_ to get used to there not being fish oil in my food. I miss Kol, I wonder whatever happened to him? Well, that’s a ponder for me, not you.

Thanks for the rice pudding recipes. I love the stuff, and I won’t put fish oil in them, I promise. We don’t do much of here, but it’s one Kol made on ship, and I do miss it. I’ll be making it soon. I’ll try your Stormwind version first. So you don’t cook much? I suppose you survive on takeaway and whatever meals are provided to you in service to the Alliance?

Tides, that party was a stuffy one, wasn’t it? So you were one of the ghosts. I saw several of you at the party. One of the Alliance people I sometimes report to was also a ghost, although we didn’t talk. I don’t think he cares for me much. It seemed the costume of choice this year among Kul Tirans was a Stormwind Soldier, and your lot favored Kul Tiran sailors and pirates. But I suppose that’s to be expected, we’re trying to feel each other out.

I would not want to turn into a terrifying wolf-man. I happen to be allergic to dogs. Would you want to turn into one? Or, since you seem to be taking King Greymane’s side, are you a worgen yourself? It is striking, but I have met a worgen or two in my time, so perhaps not as striking as if I’d never seen one before. I would not want to face one in a fight, that’s for damned sure.

I figured you hadn’t heard of Francis Bearheart unless you’re the sort to enjoy the folktales of a place. So here’s the tale. Hundreds of years back, after the war with the Drust, but well out of living memory, there was a Thornspeaker named Francis Bearheart. He wasn’t nearly as old as Ulfar, but he had been around for hundreds of years, helping to shape the minds of fledgling druids. He was especially gifted in all matters of air and sea, and could often be seen flying about on the currents over the ocean, only to suddenly drop out of the sky, splashing down to swim away for one reason or another.

One day, he was out, riding the currents, and noticed a ship run up on the rocks, near where Anyport is now. There were sailors fallen overboard, struggling in the water against the tides, fighting off sharks. Bearheart dropped out of the sky, flashing into his sea lion form as he broke the surface of the water. He swum under a sailor, lifting him up, and was able to take him to the shallows. He went back, and using his mighty tusks and hardened flippers, got a sailor away from a shark. That sailor he helped to shore. Back and forth he went, rescuing as many as he could, until there was no one else to save. The ship broke apart on the rocks, but most of the crew made it.

From then on, Bearheart was often seen patrolling the coastlines of Drustvar. When ships were in trouble, he was there. It’s said that before he disappeared, he saved sailors off twenty-five different ships, which was hundreds of lives. He’s why they constructed a lighthouse out in the Western Watch, out by the Whitegrove Chapel, in northwest Drustvar. That bit of coastline is especially nasty.

After a hundred years of patrolling the waters and keeping Kul Tirans safe, Francis Bearheart vanished, never to return. He lives on in stories, and in the midnight prayers of sailors on watch.

Disappointed to find out your assistant is married to his job. As to taking him out, I don’t know? I am known as a flirt, some would say it’s a serious character flaw. I think it gives me even more character. A friend of mine might snort and say that’s not possible, but she’s as crazy as I am sometimes. I think you’d like her.

Crazy to think we’ve been in each other’s presence and not known it, isn’t it? Part of me enjoys the mystery, part of me just wants to drag you off to an inn for a pint and some stories. I’m sure you’re full of stories, mate, and I know I am. Someday I should tell you about the time I had to handle a storm in nothing more than a coat. That’s one hell of a tale, but I’m not quite ready to share. And who says I wouldn’t like you? I like most everyone, even the occasional stuffed shirt the Alliance makes me report to. Well, at least I don’t dislike them.

Send me the book! I love to read, and this contract I’m on has a lot of slow time that I’ve been struggling to fill. I’ll send you one of my favorite books. It’s a little worn from spending time at sea, but I don’t suppose you’ll mind. I don’t often get a chance to get new books. I can’t imagine what it must have been like, living through the Scourge as a problem. We Kul Tirans are most fortunate in that regard that nothing like that touched our shores.

As so your question, yes, my hair is long, past my collar. I usually keep it back in a tail, but the wind likes to whip it loose. It’s a fairly common thing among Kul Tiran men to keep it long. And since you’re letting me ask questions, what about yours? Do you keep it long? Do you read much?

Yours,

Handsome Devil

**Author's Note:**

> Updates are Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday
> 
> Done in letters, pictures, notes, and other sorts of ephemera, this "story" evolves over time as the two letter writers, supposedly unknown to each other, begin to learn about each other. Some chapters may only be a short letter or a report, others may be multiple items, such as a letter and a photo, a report, or an item sent through the mail. 
> 
> Kayani has one character, Wabbajacked has the other. Graphics are mostly done by Wabbajacked and hosted by Kayani, and uploaded to the fic by one or the other, depending on who has the energy.


End file.
